My heart is… aching. I feel like I’ve visually experienced the nature of definition between these two boys and held fast to the triumphs and sorrows of so many others… Having devoured every episode of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood over the course of this week, I’m somehow, inexplicably left undone, as if the perfection that was this series and the satisfaction derived by its ending just isn’t enough… I’m actually crying right now, and I can only partially explain why.
No, it is enough, and that’s why the waves of my heart’s ocean are crashing over and spilling out of my eyes. I suppose that Ed is right when he says, “You can’t gain something without loosing something first,” because, for me, getting so deeply emotionally invested comes with the knowledge and necessity of the journey’s end.
I didn’t expect this level of investment when I began. I wasn’t prepared at all.
Upon conclusion, Ed can smile with such genuine, unabashed happiness. The pain has left his eyes. His family is all he’ll ever need, alchemy or no. He beat Truth; he understood what really mattered, and the end result was the return of the one thing he desired most. With this, dear Alphonse can feel and can live completely, without fear of being pulled into the other. He can devote himself to experiencing life to it’s fullest potential; he can eat, cry, touch, kiss, love, along with his brother.
Hohenheim, once tortured by the reality of an immortal life and the thrust-upon responsibly of a gentle heart carrying long lost souls, can finally find peace in death with his beloved bride—the only woman he ever wanted—and satisfaction in the acceptance of his sons. Greed found the fulfillment his entire being craved even at the cusp of his death and went willingly into eternity without regret; Pride lives another chance to appreciate the love and life given him, blurring the line between humanity and homunculi in ways unexpected.
These tears attest that I too have gained something and lost something.
So many moments in FMAB require examination and will have it in due time. The natures of existence, humanity, love, sacrifice, denial, expectation, and acceptance are intertwined in the stories of these characters who I’ve grown to hold dear.
“There’s no such thing as a painless lesson; they just don’t exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can’t gain anything without losing something first. Although, if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you’ll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle… Yeah, a heart made fullmetal.”
“We’ll live for something as soon as we find it.”