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Anime and I had a very simple relationship once.

*Flashback*

Here’s the deal. I really don’t want to watch anime, okay? It’s not my thing. I saw some ill timed “Inuyasha” on TV as a kid and it basically turned me off the idea of anime forever. (Long story?) Plus, anime just seems so dirty! I mean, come on, [insert names of guy friends], each side of her chest is bigger than her head, and it’s falling out of her shirt. Why would I want to watch that?

So no, I don’t watch anime. Everybody knows it. Well… “Kiki’s Delivery Service” was anime. I loved that as a kid, but I didn’t know it was anime at the time, so I’d still say I’m not really into anime. “Sailor Moon”? I watched every episode I could, but that’s different. “Dragon Ball Z”? I rushed to grandma’s house every day after school to watch! At first it was an effort to be like my older male cousin, but then….well, I had to find out “WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TIME ON DRAGON. BALL. Z!!!”

Okay, so I like very specific 90s anime and nothing else…none of this icky stuff. Oh, and “Howl’s Moving Castle.” I watched it with some friends. But I still don’t really like anime, because even if it isn’t dirty, it’s weird! “Spirited Away” scared the jeebies out of me as a kid! Creepy spirits that eat people? Parents getting turned into pigs? *Shudder* See what I was saying?

It’s just not for me.

*Timeskip*

…Okay, buddy, I am polite. I’m not really interested, but we have nothing else to do while we wait for our other friend to get here. I will watch an episode of this anime on Netflix that you really want me to see…

OH. MY. GOSH.