Things I Have Learned So Far — “When I Should be Sleeping” Edition

Morality isn’t always black and white (but sometimes it is), and people are very gray. Empathy (both extended and received) is beyond price. Humans will pack bond with the oddest “other,” such as inanimate objects. You can handle more pain than you think, both physically and emotionally. Depression is a bitch, even if it’s not … Continue reading Things I Have Learned So Far — “When I Should be Sleeping” Edition

What is actually wrong with me? (No, not those other things.)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha--Wow. A little self-depreciating humor. I actually made myself laugh. The title means to reference what is PHYSICALLY wrong with me. Not the OCD/anxiety stuff. That's another issue I've been very frank about. Now that I'm over the hump of my issues (hopefully and thankfully!?), I'm going to tell you … Continue reading What is actually wrong with me? (No, not those other things.)

“Are you willing to die for me, then?” — on processing, expressing, and forgiving (inspired by anime “Given”)

Think about your first love. Not your first crush. Not the first time someone caught your eye. Think about your first love. Have you been there yet? Now tell me, did it hurt? Please be aware that this post gets very honest, and it isn’t about only romance. The first time you're in a relationship, … Continue reading “Are you willing to die for me, then?” — on processing, expressing, and forgiving (inspired by anime “Given”)

All in all, life is moving along.

The update schedule is telling me that I'm supposed to be writing about my life now. Well, I suppose I can do that and sum it up in one word: BUSY. I'm tired. This whole part-time school/full-time work thing is finally catching up to me, even though it's been only a few weeks. I'm not … Continue reading All in all, life is moving along.

I herniated my spine, but because I am a woman, the doctor refused to get me proper treatment. (or, more positively, “I’m salty but so thankful and I’m gonna be okay, guys. <3 <3 <3")

Doctors don't take women's pain seriously. Don't believe me? See Professor Google. Better yet, here: educate yourselves. I never knew this was a widespread phenomenon until it happened to me. But after months of steadily increasing pain, after all the doctor's instances that I was just experiencing !!!muscle aches!!!???, after reaching an inability to work, all … Continue reading I herniated my spine, but because I am a woman, the doctor refused to get me proper treatment. (or, more positively, “I’m salty but so thankful and I’m gonna be okay, guys. ❤ ❤ <3")

Adding new letters to my labels. (Accepting a diagnosis of OCD)

I'm sharing because I really want to help. This is going to get painful, and I may regret it if my identity is ever discovered (please no) but I suppose you've been warned. And Husband says that no one cares to try and find me, so I'm trying to put that fear aside I favor … Continue reading Adding new letters to my labels. (Accepting a diagnosis of OCD)

May is Hard. (This was supposed to be a blog update, but now I don’t know what it is?)

Warning: I don't even know what this is. Is it even coherent? Maybe not. I will admit that I am not currently my best self. It is with much self-depreciation (and as vaguely emo music plays through my headphones) that I morosely admit as much, but I feel that makes the statement no less true. I'm … Continue reading May is Hard. (This was supposed to be a blog update, but now I don’t know what it is?)

To Trust (the great societal “you”)

I am not supposed to trust you. I am not supposed to trust that you won't throw me under the bus, or slam the door in my face, or whisper my secrets into unfriendly ears. I am not to speak with you as though I believe in you. I am not supposed to think the … Continue reading To Trust (the great societal “you”)

“Weak at the knees, biting our lips, flushing red, and holding our breath…” (or, “Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys: A Look Into Shoujo Psychology”)

WARNING: I really struggled when writing on this subject, attempting to balance levity, truth, and observation while keeping the post factual and appropriate. Also, NOT ALL OF THESE ASSERTIONS ARE THE MINDSET OF HEALTHY, ADULT PERSPECTIVES ON RELATIONSHIP. I know I'm an adult, but I'm still quite young enough to get caught up various mindsets … Continue reading “Weak at the knees, biting our lips, flushing red, and holding our breath…” (or, “Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys: A Look Into Shoujo Psychology”)

I can’t reach my car. He is faster than me. (#metoo: I didn’t think I’d ever make this post, but here we are.)

It took me a while to decide if I wanted to write about this recent experience. Today, I was playing a video game of all things when I decided that, yes, yes I will. Please forgive me if it's a bit all over the place, but getting out my thoughts on all this has been … Continue reading I can’t reach my car. He is faster than me. (#metoo: I didn’t think I’d ever make this post, but here we are.)