Bored Beyond Reason—Adventures in Egg-Based Hair Masking

The effort herein described is just as the title suggests. Because I am bored beyond reason and trying not to fall into spiraling existential and practical dread, I’ve been paying too much attention to my own hair for someone who never leaves her house. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have, in fact, started trying to follow the Curly Girl (Guy) Method, or CGM as it were.

I’m not going to outline every detail, because none of you are here for that, but the good folks over at the r/curlyhair subreddit are all looking fly, and I wanted to try bringing my own curls/waves (2C/3A, I think?? not that it really matters) up to snuff. Basically: no sulfates, no silicones, no alcohols. Further, less shampoo, more conditioner, and leave-in conditioner is apparently A Thing (TM).

It sounds a lot more involved than it is, re: to plop or not to plop, that is the question. (And none of you need to understand that, no worries.)

ANYWAY, I haven’t had a hair cut in a year and a half (because of, you know, the death in the air), and between that and the fact that I dyed my hair again a while back—which proved to be a mistake because now my hair is a dry mess—my hair is in a less-than-ideal state of frizzy. (Also, I’m growing less and less fond of Overtone, so I think our relationship is over.)

I’m doing this egg mask thing because I had the ingredients here: egg yolks, olive oil, and water. It’s supposed to be protein packed and make my hair soft? I dunno. The thing about curls is that they’re supposed to be moisturized. And protein-ed. And just… I dunno, I’m new here. Anyway, I mixed together the ingredients, put them on my hair, put it all up in a shower cap as advised, and now I’m waiting and letting my hair marinade in:

  • 2 egg yolks
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 cup water (I also read “1/2 cup” later in the same recipe, so do what you want I guess?)

My scalp feels… unpleasant. Cold? Tingly just a little? Idk. At least I know none of this stuff is gonna hurt me. I’m supposed to leave it on for like 15-20 minutes, but I got distracted writing this post and forgot when I started sitting here, so I’m winging it in that regard. Also, I don’t think I made enough mask, because my hair is long and I have a lot of it. But we’ll see.

Soon, it’ll be time to rinse out and wash my hair to remove any lingering egg. I’ll check back in then. For now, the cats and I will continue to bond. ✌🏻

Update: I am doing physical therapy exercises as I wait. The boys are looking out the window and/or cleaning themselves. It’s a good time. The shower cap predictably smells like olive oil. I am not fond.

Update again: It’s been like 30 minutes, but I’m lazy. Guess I better stop yoga posing and do the thing…

Okay, so my hair was super curly right out of the shower cap, more curly than I expect it to be at this length (almost to waist). It also majorly smelled like oil even after rinsing.

I washed it and conditioned it, and tried the whole “rinse out MOST of your conditioner but leave a LITTLE bit behind” schtick. Then I brushed it wet, used leave-in, and brushed it through again. Now it’s drying. It looks shiny and doesn’t smell bad anymore, lol. Let’s see how it dries. I KNOW it’s not going to curl as much as it wants because my hair is so heavy at this length, but hey, we’ll see what’s up.


My hair will take literal hours to dry, and I’m impatient about it, but safe to say, this worked. I still really super duper need a haircut, though.

Until next time,


Oh, and get the vaccine when you can.

~Shoujo 🌸

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