“There’s not a place where I’ll go You’ve not already stood.” —Sunday Sermonette because I’m Struggling

This isn’t a sermon, really. It just sounded like a fun title. You know. Double S. Anyway.

I am struggling, though. And I’m gonna talk about God—talk about how He comforts me despite the way things are going now. (I feel like I should mention in case anyone is new, if you’re not a Christian, this is still—as always—a friendly place where you are loved.)

This morning starts with coffee—I’m making pour-over using a coffee filter and a Pyrex measuring pitcher. Yes. I am classy.

Because it’s Sunday, and because I’m troubled, I start listening to Casting Crowns “Praise You in this Storm” (a classic turn-to), but it’s not doing it for me today. Rather abruptly, I realize what I actually need to hear.

“Alexa, play ‘Trust in You.’”

Next thing I know, I’m singing, eyes closed and coffee neglected (yes, really). The words are everything I’ve needed reminding of over the past few months. There’s something so comforting about “There’s not a place where I’ll go You’ve not already stood.” I’ve cried listening to it in the past. It’s just… well, comforting is really the best word for it.

God knows every step that’s ahead of me, for better or worse. And yeah, I’m going to try and remain positive, but some of them might be worse. We just can’t know.

I’ve got some scary health stuff happening right now (yes, again) and have to get tests/procedures done in the hospital (yes, again) that I wouldn’t want to have done even if there wasn’t a 20+% covid positivity rate. My husband is working himself too long and too hard because that’s what he does when he feels like everything is out of his control—he wants to provide security. I’ve had to re-examine so many things I took for granted about my life and vocation after I lost my job due to unethical practices by a Church school to which I gave my all (which has really, really messed me up), and there’s more. Uncontrolled infection-based OCD. Anxiety. Hypocrites in politics. Fascism in America. Family struggles. Moral musings and existential dread. Covid. You can probably surmise a lot of my list, because I’m sure you have your own. There’s probably at least a little overlap.

In the midst of it—in the thick of things—I forget what I should always remember at the end of the day; no matter what I’m walking through, God is walking beside me. Jesus is walking beside me. These are not uncharted waters.

I just wanted to share in the hopes that the realization brings you as much comfort as it brought me. You are no more alone than I. You are loved, utterly and completely. No matter what you face, you do not face it alone.

Happy Sunday. Enjoy your day as best you can. Stay home if you can, wear a mask if you can’t. Wash your hands, and stay safe. 💕

~Shoujo

2 thoughts on ““There’s not a place where I’ll go You’ve not already stood.” —Sunday Sermonette because I’m Struggling

  1. I’m really sorry to hear about your struggles and your health situation. This year certainly doesn’t seem to let up in any way. You have written a very beautiful post here though, and one that at the same time also could not have been very easy to write. I hope that whatever happens, you will get results soon, and that things are going to brighten for you again at some point. In the meantime, keep hanging in there (easier said then done, but still), and please be safe and take good care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Raistlin, honestly, you seem like a very kind person! Comments like this spread a little joy to people who need it, so thank you! We’re doing what we can over here to keep calm and carry on, and I wish the same for you! Ultimately, we’re very blessed, and I know that, so I try to keep it all in perspective. Again, thanks for being kind! The world needs more of it!!

      Like

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