What is actually wrong with me? (No, not those other things.)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha–Wow. A little self-depreciating humor. I actually made myself laugh. The title means to reference what is PHYSICALLY wrong with me. Not the OCD/anxiety stuff.

That’s another issue I’ve been very frank about.

Now that I’m over the hump of my issues (hopefully and thankfully!?), I’m going to tell you all what I have. “Why?” you may ask. “Shoujo, do you just want to complain!?” NO! Honest! It’s just…you’ve stuck with me this long as I dealt with them, dear readers, so I thought you might as well know, even this late in the game. Then you’ll have a more comprehensive picture when I occasionally go on my emotional ramblings relating to the physical things, like I realize I very vaguely did here. If you don’t care to know, I won’t be offended at all. I will simply thank you for your support as I’ve occasionally poured my heart out and send you happily on your way.

Wait… why am I feeling guilty about writing this on my own blog? Why is this proving so hard? It’s not like I’m making anyone read it. I’m allowed to write anything on my own blog, right? This is tough.

ANYWAY.

Anyone who decides to stick around, here it is:

I have hypermobility with ?early-onset? Degenerative Disk Disease and mild scoliosis!

Half the time I think it sounds worse than it is, and half the time I think it sounds better than what it is. So, what is it?

Simply put, I’m bendy and loose in ways I should not be. ¯\_(ヅ)_/¯ And addition to pain in my wrists/chest/knees and/or other places at various times and to varying degrees, I have messed up disks in my neck and lumbar which cause chronic pain. My also spine has a mild curvature.

Oh! And I have an extra disc, but that’s just a fun fact for all of you. It doesn’t really matter.

DDD isn’t uncommon in the older population as degenerative changes of the spine to varying degrees with normal with AGE. They are often mild and may even occur without pain. Mine are just coming without age an do cause pain. Because I’m special. Genetics, am I rite? (>ω^)

(It’s not terribly important to know, but it’s been suggested that I get tested for hEDS as well. It would explain some things. If I do have it, though, I imagine it’s probably mild. So, that can of worms? Should I open it? Well, probably. Eventually. Do I want to? Not at all.)

So, yeah. I just wanted to let you guys know the sources of my chronic pain, since I never did tell anyone exactly what was wrong with me, why I do PT, have and occasionally use braces, tried CBD, and all that good stuff.

Yeah. Back and bendy problems. That’s what I’m going to call them now. Because I can. (´• ω •`)b

I’m doing much better now than I was. I’m very, very grateful. It could be much, much worse.

EMOTION TIME: So, how do I feel about it?

My counselor would tell me that the fact it could be worse doesn’t invalidate my own feelings. If you’re in a similar position, please know you’re feelings are valid. Sometime I feel guilty for feeling sad about the things I can’t do anymore when I know I’m very fortunate.

I personally swing between feeling guilty for being sad about or mentioning my own pain when I could have it so~ much worse and feeling upset that I deal with varying levels of pain every day that range from annoying to disruptive.

As the difficulty I had writing this very simple, uncomplicated post shall attest!

Anyway, since you all have stuck by me this long, dear readers, I thought you ‘ought to know.

I’ll be back soon with more fandom/anime content! (*・ω・)ノ

Thank you for sticking with me, even when I’m boring. Thank you for sticking with me, even when I’m emotional. Thank you for sticking with me, even when I’m goofy. ❤

Love,

Shoujo

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