"I'm only human" — CMV/AMV Saturday 1/11/20

Christina Perri’s song Human can be applied to few characters as well as it is here applied to Wei Ying/Wei Wuxian of “The Untamed”.* I haven’t been this excited about an entry for the CMV/AMV Saturday series in such a long time.

Wei Ying gives everything he has and IS for those he cares about, often times without them even knowing, and he receives only pain in return. This song says it all; he can take the pain, he can put it away, he can be what they need, he can carry the weight of the world, but eventually… well, as the song says, “I can take so much, ’til I’ve had enough.” Spoilers are contained ahead for the show’s long flashback sequence. Even if you don’t read further, I highly suggest watching the video at the end of the post, because I think it’s going to impact you and perhaps convince you to watch this excellent piece of media.

Wei Ying bites his tongue and holds in his pain while living with the Jiang family, where he’s put on a pedestal by Fengmian (much to Cheng’s detriment) and abused by Madam Yu. While his adopted siblings mourn their parents, he holds his breath. He himself grieves, yes, but he puts it aside to protect Yanli and Cheng at all costs. He saves Cheng from the Wens, but Cheng–mourning for his lost core–pushes him away. He “can stay awake for days” in that he works tirelessly day and night to come up with a solution to help Cheng, and when he realizes what must be done, he does it without reservation over the cost to himself.

He fakes smiles when he returns from torment, having lost his own core and with no hope to aid his siblings without demonic cultivation. He pretends everything is fine even as it eats away at him, and no one knows what he has done for Cheng. He fakes smiles for Yanli. He’s derided at every turn by people who don’t know why he’s made the choices he’s made. He plays the part of his carefree former self, and gives everything he is to his adopted siblings.

He’s strong, capable, and HE CAN DO IT. But, in the end, he really is only human. So many unkind words have been thrown at him, so much hate. There are so many knives in Wei Ying’s heart, and yet he carries on almost mechanically. He’s holding the weight of worlds as he supports the Wen victims because they NEED him; his siblings will be okay now, but he is all the Wen’s have.

He’s turning against a hypocritical cultivation society, and now he’s hated. But he’ll get through it, even though he’s bleeding inside and out. He’s weaker now, but he carries on even as he’s sacrificed everything, including his closest relationships. It’s destroying him.

And in the end, he can take SO MUCH before he’s had enough. With Yanli’s death…

He’s lost the will to go on, even as Lan Zhan–who has desperately tried to be there for Wei Ying–begs him to stay.

(Lan Zhan regrets not doing more to stand by him for the next 13 years, bringing us to where we are as “The Untamed” begins.)

Link if video embed doesn’t work: https://youtu.be/hB2VZfA6hl0

‘Cause I’m only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I’m only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

‘Cause I’m only human, yeah

-“Human,” Christina Perri

Have you watched “The Untamed?” I’m obsessed.

-Shoujo

*”The Untamed” is the live-action adaptation of MCZS, or “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,” as written about here.

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