A family member posted something on her Facebook page. It looked like this:
At first glance, this seems admirable, but there was something that I wanted her to understand for her own wellbeing, and now I want to share it with you as well, because–yes, unrelated to anime, I know–it is important.
I feel the screenshot of that text post is inaccurate. Well, let me clarify.
I mean, yes, love for the sake of loving. Be unselfish. Give. Care about others just because you do and you should. Be unconditional. We love because He first loved us. Show that love in your word and deed.
But, understanding that, always remember that you should associate and surround yourself with people who love YOU as well. A general love for humanity and want to help others is important and very good; act upon that. But personal relationships (romances and friendships) need to be reciprocal in that you are loved just as much as you are loving even if the methods of expression are different. Give and receive.
So, you know, it isn’t wrong to say don’t stay in relationship with and swim an ocean for someone who won’t jump a puddle for you. Honestly. That’s enabling them to be selfish.
I am not saying that we should expect to be rewarded or reimbursed for loving kindness, but I am saying that life is about loving and being loved in return, unconditionally. The screenshot-ed philosophy only works when all parties involved are willing to swim that ocean. That’s the way it should be, but it sadly isn’t always the case.
Don’t let that sort of mentality keep you with an abusive significant other, for example, or keep you from getting out of some other sort of toxic relationship because you’re willing to go that extra mile. No, life isn’t about being rewarded, but it is about being fulfilled. We should be working for the good of others, loving others, yes! But remember that being loved is also a proven psychological need for the average human being, and you deserve to have the joy of giving and receiving that love.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
2 thoughts on “Regarding the Puddle Jumper: Thoughts on Life and Love”
One should give love but also those feelings should be reciprocated from the significant other. It’s a tough lesson when you can about someone so much, but you can’t do much since they don’t feel the same way… So you just have to sit back and watch from a far.
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You’re right. It IS hard when someone you care so much about doesn’t feel similarly; I feel like a lot of us have been that person who put 120% into a relationship (whatever the type) without a reciprocal response. But just as I know that many of us have been that person…no, it is BECAUSE I know that many of us have been that person that I can say with certainty that reciprocity is out there, and it comes in many forms. And often times it comes when it is least expected. ❤️
The first time someone with the screenshot-ed mindset is taken advantage of is the hardest, but we grow and we learn and we develop a real appreciation regarding what it means to love and be loved. When those types of relationships bloom, it is a beautiful thing.
I met my husband after getting out of a negative relationship, and he showed me reciprocity in romantic love. So… and forgive me if I’m overstepping my bounds, but you were blogging about it, so… Gah. I’m gonna sound so sappy if I try to articulate anything more personal. Know that reciprocity is out there for you and me and everyone. We all deserve it.